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Constable Anita Rowland, whose son was killed and his brother paralysed in an horrific car accident, pleads for sanity on the roads. Photo: Brett Wortman

My journey of true “self discovery” didn’t start until February 28th, 2004, when one person’s decision to drive changed my life and the lives of my family and friends forever.

On that day, our 22-month-old son Jet died. Our oldest son Bailey, who was seven years old, suffered horrific injuries which included the severing of his spinal cord.

Bailey is now a paraplegic and confined for life in a wheelchair.

I suffered severe internal and orthopaedic injuries and spent nearly two months in hospital.

It has been said that the grief a parent experiences with the loss of their child is the most intense grief known.

Nothing I have ever experienced even comes close to what I felt and I would never wish that pain on any other human being.

Yet the road toll keeps climbing with more and more people dying in tragic circumstances unnecessarily.

Every time you hear that someone has died, there is a grieving family experiencing the worst grief known and about to embark on a painful journey they didn’t ask to go on.

The journey of grief you see doesn’t really end, it will continue for the rest of your life.

The person I was before the crash is gone forever and to be honest I miss “her”. I miss being carefree, relaxed and innocent to such personal heartache and devastation.

As a police officer I had experienced death and destruction but it was always someone else’s family, someone I didn’t know and would never know, not my own and therefore I could separate the tragedy from my own family.

I never properly appreciated the agony a family was going through after I had just told them their child was dead.

I saw the devastation in their eyes but didn’t understand until I was told my own son had died.

I was lost in a world of insurmountable grief.

I realised in the months and years afterwards that you have a choice in how you deal with the death of a person you love with all your heart and soul. You can choose to deal with it in a way that leaves you completely paralysed by the weight of such grief or you can chose to live your life in a way that honours their life and memory.

I chose the latter.

I remember being at Jet’s funeral and seeing his tiny white coffin being lowered into the ground and thinking “My God, how could this have happened? I was just taking them for a swim”.

I never expected a car being driven in the opposite direction to cross the motorway and collide with our car head-on.

We weren’t doing anything wrong…we were just going for a swim.

You never met my son Jet. He was born on April 9th, 2002. He was a beautiful Angelic child with platinum blonde curls and he was my little shadow.

Jet had a zest for life and a loving nature. We were having so much fun and he was becoming so  much more independent.

When he laughed, he laughed from his soul and it was contagious in a way that everyone else would start laughing.

He loved the Wiggles, Thomas the Tank Engine and ice-cream.

His life was only just beginning and he died because of a terrible choice and decision made by another driver.

I believe I am more than qualified to say that life is so very short and you need to make the most of each day you have.

You don’t know when you are going to die and you don’t know under what circumstances but there are some things you can do to help you die of old age as it should be.

I am a firm believer that the attitudes of drivers contribute to some of these tragic “accidents” we all hear about. The choices and decisions you make when you take the responsibility of driving will end in either good or bad consequences.

Drivers know that speeding is dangerous, they know that drink driving is dangerous and hooning – talking on their mobile phone, sending a text message — the list goes on and on and everyone has heard it a million times.

Yet so many people are still doing it.

I would like to ask you to consider for a moment how you would feel if because of your stupidity or selfishness you killed your best mate, a parent, brother, sister or an innocent child?

Could you sleep at night?

How man times do we hear of tragedy striking similar seemingly normal families through the ever-growing road toll?

More often than not it’s because of that very lack of duty of care for others that these “accidents” occur.

The message I am trying to send is very clear — it’s not all right, it is not acceptable and it simply can’t be tolerated any longer.

From a parent who knows what it feels like to lose a child in a car crash – please slow down; please wear your seatbelt; please don’t drink and drive; please don’t be distracted by your mobile phone or anything else and please make these decisions and choices by remembering my family’s story.

Know that our son Jet paid the ultimate price with his life because somebody didn’t put their own safety and that of other road users first.

I want you to realise just how tragedy of this proportion will affect your entire family’s lives and your ignorance to thinking you are immune has to change.

Stupid choices have deadly consequences.

-ANITA ROWLAND

Originally appeared on Sunshine Coast Daily on 23/09/2007

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Crash

In the last couple decades, the number of crashes on our roads has gone up drastically whilst the number of fatalities each year has fallen. You could argue that the increases in collisions are directly related to an increase in the number of vehicles on our roads, which to a point is true. The number of fatalities though has fallen, simply because automotive manufacturers have made their products more…crashable. Billions of dollars are spent each year on research & development on both ‘passive’ safety and ‘active’ safety in passenger vehicles. Manufacturers realized a long time ago that their customers are horrible drivers and therefore they needed to develop technology to help drivers survive crashes (passive safety) and better yet, avoid crashes altogether (active safety). However, hardly anything has been spent on making drivers safer. The driver is by far the most important safety feature of any vehicle and also the worst; so why isn’t the driver focused on more?

Some examples of ‘passive’ safety would be seat belts, air bags, roll cages, door impact beams and crumple zones. All designed to help you survive a crash. Whereas ‘active’ safety is the technology built into vehicles to help you avoid a crash. Such items include ABS, disk brakes, traction control and stability control. However, if drivers on our roads were safer, more skilled, aware, and trained in advanced driving techniques, nothing else would be required. Ok…life happens and people make mistakes and inevitably crashes will still occur. Nobody is perfect and acquiring the skills of professional race car drivers would be a huge personal expense to people, especially considering the tough economic times in which we live. However, if you can afford a car, insurance, gas and maintenance…you can also afford to take an advanced driving course; most are under $500 and really is the best insurance you can buy (I’m sure your friends and family would say that your life is worth more than the cost of such a course).

My main objections to all the ‘active’ safety technology being put into cars these days, is that it’s providing a false sense of security to drivers. Drivers constantly hear how great all this stuff is and how it can handle any driving situation, which is simply not true. They are tools and only assist drivers when road conditions get bad & they are designed to compensate for when drivers make mistakes (like taking a corner too quickly or when encountering slippery conditions) but they don’t allow drivers to break the laws of physics and they will only assist you to a point. They also don’t allow you to realize what the road conditions are really like. In a sense, they disconnect you from ‘feeling’ the road. My other issue is that it’s sending a message to drivers that they can continue to be complacent while driving. This is especially true when it comes to some of the newer technology popping up in cars like ‘self-parking’ systems, ‘blind-spot’ warning systems, ‘lane departure warning’ systems and rear pointing cameras (to assist you when reversing). Wait a minute…these systems actually PROMOTE bad driving habits! Personally I find this rather counter productive and a step backward instead of forward.

All this technology is worth several thousand dollars of each car sold and more and more of these systems are being installed in cars as they are further developed. Perhaps some of this huge expense should be spent on developing the driver. If every new car sold included a free advanced driving course (a cost of less than $500), our roads would be significantly safer. It could also lead to reduced auto insurance costs, personal health insurance, medical expenses, and it would certainly reduce the costs to social health care (in countries where that is applicable).

It’s way better to have a skilled, safe driver in car with no safety technology, than a lousy driver in a good, safe car with all the safety technology…every time. Safer roads start with safer drivers. So let’s start focusing on improving the driver because its money well spent.

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Drowsy Driving

In a recently published survey by the AAA, 32% of all drivers surveyed admitted that they have driven while so tired they could barely keep their eyes open. This is pretty disturbing since the 2010 studies findings showed that 16.5% of all road fatalities and 13.1% of all hospitalizations from crashes were a direct consequence of driving while drowsy.

According to the study, young drivers between the ages of 16-24, were far more likely to be involved in a ‘drowsy driving’ crash than people between the ages of 40-59. Road crashes are already the number one cause of teenage fatalities worldwide and fatigue may be more of a factor in many of those fatalities than previously realized.

Crashes involving drowsy drivers can be especially violent because when they are startled, they tend to drastically overreact, resulting with them abruptly swerving (into other vehicles, guardrails or resulting in them leaving the road entirely).

Driving while sleepy is much like drinking and driving. Your judgement, reflexes, and awareness are drastically impaired and so is your vision. Similar to having a few drinks, you may feel fine when you first climb behind the wheel but you are not aware that your judgment is already impaired due to fatigue. What you can notice is when your eye-lids start getting heavy and you notice that you’re having a hard time keeping your eyes open. That’s when you need to park somewhere and have a power nap. Even as little as 15-30min of rest can dramatically improve your ability behind the wheel and you are far more likely to make it home safely.

“Drinking and driving or driving while drowsy will both impair your driving” say PC Hugh Smith from Toronto Police Services and he gives the best and most simple advice “Stop driving if you feel sleepy”.

A few years ago, I was doing a late night drive home along a very long, straight and essentially boring and deserted stretch of highway with only the occasional other vehicle on the road. A transport truck caught my attention as I slowly caught up to it, I noticed the driver slowly drifting out of their lane or onto the shoulder and back again. Alarms went off in my head…he’s asleep! I thought to myself “what do I do about this?” and all I could think was to flash my high beams and hope the driver woke up without getting spooked and crashing. There was a bend in the road ahead and it seemed clear that the driver wouldn’t see it coming and crash anyway so I had to try. Well it worked and the driver regained control of his rig successfully negotiating the corner. I decided to stay behind him and keep an eye on him. Although I suspected he had fallen asleep, I wasn’t positive. He could have just been a sloppy driver. Until a few minutes later when he started drifting out of his lane again.

This would have been a good time to call the police but my phone was out of my reach. One thing was certain though…this driver needed to get off the road before having a massive crash. I flashed my high beams several times and once again the truck driver started driving normally again. The only thing waking this driver up was either my high beams flashing in his mirrors or when he brushed the gravel shoulder. As far as I was concerned…this was a wreck waiting to happen. Not wanting to be a part of it, I kept my distance and found once again that I had to wake up this sleepy driver by flashing my high beams. Thankfully, he finally realized that he needed to pull over and have a nap. We were just about to pass an inspection station and although he missed the entrance, he pulled to the shoulder and parked at the exit from the inspection station. Nap time for this driver. I’m sure his family and employer will never know how close this driver came to crashing that night.

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Car Control School

Partnership Designed to Improve the Emergency Driving Skills of All TADA Members’ Customers

TORONTO, ONTARIO–(Marketwire – Dec. 1, 2011) - Today, ILR Car Control School Inc. (ILR CCS) and the Toronto Automobile Dealer Association [TADA] jointly announced a new strategic partnership designed to improve the emergency driving skills of all TADA members’ customers. ILR CCS is now the “Official Advanced Driver Training School of the TADA”.

“Customers buy vehicles for a variety of reasons”, said Todd Bourgon, Executive Director of TADA, “but there is a single undercurrent of thought that runs through every buyer; they want to be safe. Whether they are buying a multi-passenger mini-van, a small economical sub-compact or a performance sports car, each driver needs an opportunity to learn, in their own vehicle, how to best handle emergency situations when they inevitably arise. Despite all of the advanced technology that our member’s manufacturers have built into our new cars there are still many situations caused by driver error. After examining the programs that ILR CCS offers we are pleased to recommend them as the Pro-Active© Advanced driving school of choice for our TADA members and their customers”.

Click here for the full press release….

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Car Control School

Ok…this is hardly a news flash but time and time again people in Canada seem to be caught off guard by Old Man Winter and his partner in chaos Jack Frost. Now for those of you who are fans of winter sports like skiing, snowboarding, tobogganing, or even building snow men and snow forts, I’m sure you are eagerly awaiting copious amounts of the white stuff. Driving in it though isn’t what most people would define as a ‘good time’. Personally, I enjoy driving in slippery conditions. Actually, I enjoy driving period regardless of the conditions but not everyone is comfortable driving on ice and snow, nor does everyone have the skill to do so.

Lets start off with the basics.

  • Get some winter tires! They will in fact provide you with much more grip and improve your stopping distances.
  • If you have ABS, make sure it’s working and that you know what it’s limits are. Sure it can help the average driver stop faster on wet and dry roads but did you know that a vehicle with ABS can take up to 10x longer to stop on glare/black ice? I bet your sales person didn’t tell you that.
  • Make sure your car has no less than a half tank of gas. If you do get stranded, you will need to run the engine periodically to keep warm. Also, the more air in your tank, the more the water vapour in that air can freeze which can lead to frozen fuel lines.
  • Ensure you pack some basic emergency equipment in your trunk, which may include a first-aid kit, blankets, a flashlight, candles (for warmth & light), a space blanket to help retain heat, winter grade washer fluid, extra gloves/mitts/hats, warm socks, a folding shovel, a bag of road salt or kitty litter (to throw under your tires for added grip).
  • Most importantly…take a winter driving course like the one offered at www.carcontrolschool.com.

As for a few tips:

  • SLOW DOWN!!! Regardless of how good your tires are or how many gadgets your car has to keep you from loosing control (ABS, traction control, stability control), they will only ‘assist’ you…not ‘save’ you. You simply can’t defy the laws of physics.
  • Beware of bridges as they often ice over quickly and before the actual road does.
  • If the road looks grey…it’s dry. If it looks wet, it’s either just wet or its black ice. My rule of thumb is that if the road looks wet, assume it’s black ice and drive accordingly. I would rather assume it’s ice and be proven wrong then the other way around.
  • Take off your winter boots and wear sensible driving shoes. Your car will warm up fast enough to keep your feet warm. However if you drive while wearing winter boots, you will like get them hung up on the pedals or worse…apply the gas while going for the brake.
  • Oh…and if you see a bunch of cars spun out or crashed on the road ahead….don’t go there! In fact…if you know the roads are really bad…stay home. Wherever you want to go isn’t worth dying for.

If you really can’t remember what it’s like in winter,

here are three of my favorite ‘icy roads’ videos.

 

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