Recently the time came to get my old 1996 BMW 318ti back on the road but she seemed reluctant to be revived. Having not needed it for about a year, I had taken off the insurance and there she sat slumbering away in my driveway in a deep hibernation for about 10 months. Over time…it started decaying just like any vehicle would. I found out just how much so when I tried to bring her back to life and it was going to need more than just a turn of the ignition.

And so began the process of getting her insured and having the plates renewed. Of course I couldn’t fully renew the plates because the car needed an e-test, which couldn’t be done because that would mean driving to a testing centre which couldn’t be legally done without renewed plates. Fortunately the Ministry provided me with a 10 day temp permit so that I could legally drive the car and have the e-test done. On the way home the MTO (Ministry of Transportation) I picked up a new shift knob. The old one had decayed and the plastic clips inside had hardened and broken away as always happens when plastic ages. The old knob was just sitting loose and wasn’t safe to use (it was looking pretty ratty anyway). It was a fairly simple and quick procedure installing the new one though.

Next it was time to start her up…I knew the battery was low and tried to start it using a booster pack but my ‘Lil Red Sled’ just refused to turn over. Its like she just didn’t want to be woken, which is something we can all relate too. “Nooo…go away…leave me alone…I’m sleeping! Zzzzzz….”. The battery was just too far gone and would need to be replaced. So after stopping in at a few automotive shops, I finally found a suitable replacement. BMW’s 318 series were never very popular in North America (especially my hatch back version) so finding some items for it will always prove to be difficult, as in the case of finding a battery.

Once the new battery was installed, the car roared to life. Suddenly Lil Red wanted to wake up and although she was a bit groggy, she sounded pretty good. Now for a test drive. As I sat in the car, revving the engine, listening to her purr aggressively after waking from her long hibernation, you could feel that she wanted to be taken for a stretch and a nice run. Hmmm…the gear box was feeling pretty gummy though as I went through the gears while holding down the clutch. That will probably work its self out over time. Ok, time to drive…clunk into reverse…RPM’s up…slowly release the clutch. She lurched a bit didn’t move. More gas…more clutch…nothing. The front brakes were well and truly seized. I wasn’t surprised but I figured with some brute force and a touch of finesse, I should be able to free the frozen brakes. Maybe she didn’t want to go for a run after all. After reversing a bit in my long driveway I could hear the front tires dragging (I left a 6ft skid mark with the front tires). Now to go forward a bit. Back a bit…forward a bit…back a bit….viola! The wheels freed up and started rolling.

I let her idle in the driveway while I cleaned all the windows inside and out, all while listening to the engine for sounds of trouble. So far so good, so it was time to head to the gas station. There was only 1/8th of a tank of gas and it was very old stuff which had most certainly gone bad. Filling the tank would mix what little old stuff that was in there with new gas. Had the tank been full, I would have had to siphon out all the old crap first.

I inched the car out of the driveway and onto my side street. The brakes felt weird and the engine was hesitating a bit under load. Not surprising so I just needed to be careful as I headed to the gas station. As we drove along, too many things just felt wrong. The power steering was very heavy (felt like it wasn’t even working) and every time I touched the brakes, even lightly, the car didn’t slow well and the ABS in the front left wheel started engaging. The engine was really chugging and within minutes, the ‘check engine’ light came on. Sigh. Ok…forget the gas, I’m going straight to my mechanic for a consult.

My mechanic Claudio was still there despite the lateness of the hour and I think he suddenly saw dollar signs flashing in his eyes as we discussed the issues at hand. He said I could leave the car and he would take a look at it in a couple days. Well that wasn’t going to happen…I needed it now. He did say that after getting an oil change, adding some high octane fuel and running it for a few days that it would assist with many of the issues but he also warned me that the rotors may need to be machined along with getting the brake pads replaced. With all that in mind, off I went to the gas station. First night on the road and the costs began building…with much more to come.

Our first drive together in 10 months felt rather strange. Lil Red was more than a tad cranky and had some issues. She sure didn’t feel ‘normal’ by any stretch of the word but she stood up to the task and I was gentle on her…never braking too hard nor mashing the gas too hard. Hmm…wait a sec…what the hell? My new shift knob was coming loose! You gotta be kidding me…I tightened the hell out of it! Ok…nothing a little tinkering won’t fix.

The next morning, the check engine light was still on but since I have a diagnostic checker, I wasn’t about to pay $100 to have it done at a shop or some dealership. I drove around for a while running some errands and eventually the ‘check engine’ light turned off. Out of sight but NOT out of mind. The car already felt a lot better but I had to get some work done to it starting with an oil change before I caused any damage to the engine…so off to Mr. Lube I went and the costs racked up fast with an oil and filter change, engine flush, one brake light bulb, inflate the tire pressures, two new wiper blades, and an air filter. They also recommended several other things but I may have woken up in hospital from the ‘sticker shock’. I will have to have the fuel system serviced though in the next few days which will improve my odds of passing the e-test, which will have to be done within a week.

The rest of the recommendations included servicing the differential, a radiator flush & fill, tranny service and servicing the oil pan and power steering (which has a small leak and explains why the steering feels heavy). Uggg…I swear some mechanic is going to retire off this car! As for that ‘check engine’ light…it was a misfire with one of the cylinders. Nothing to worry about since it used to sometimes happen when I drove short distances in the winter and it always went away. At least it was one thing I didn’t really need to worry about so I just cleared the code from the computer. I’ll keep a close eye on it though.

Ok…this is getting pricey but at least I am slated to get some new winter tires soon…for free! As an Instructor for the ILR Winter Car Control School (sponsored by GoodYear), I will be getting GoodYear’s newest and best winter compound tires in the coming weeks. This is great timing since my current winter tires are rather old and won’t be up to the task of handling snow and ice very well this coming winter season. Ya…I caught a break on this one.

Anyway…my ‘Lil Red Sled’ is back on the road and although she ain’t perfect…she’s eager to be driven and like all old cars, she’s got a lot of ummm…character! Ya…lets call it that…’character’.  Of course…I still need to have my brakes looked at. They are pretty soft and after trying some emergency braking, I found out that I no longer have ABS but perhaps that’s another story…